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"Most strokers are made out of a porous rubber material because it’s very, very soft, and most people wouldn’t want to stroke their penis with something that feels like a brick," says Carly S. Sometimes this happens because you used a sex toy that a person with bacterial vaginosis or a yeast infection used without it being properly cleaned before use. Toys should always be cleaned before and after each use to prevent bacteria from building up. "You can't really go wrong with soap and warm water," says Engle.

And don’t limit yourself to only considering the toys marketed as couples toys. As Engle says, "Any toy can be used as a couples toy," so it may be helpful to expand beyond the mindset of products that put an emphasis on use during penetration only. Or perhaps you might want to start out with something as simple as a massage oil candle rather than motorized toys. Ultimately, of course, communication is key to figuring out what you’re both comfortable with—and the type of products that you’ll each derive the most pleasure from. The Eva is marketed as a couples vibrator, since it can securely stay in place during intercourse. Customers note that getting the hang of its use with a partner may take some trial and error, but rave about the power this one packs for its size, particularly at the highest of its three settings.

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